Community Spotlight: Rachel and Sherrie
-Abby Martucci, Families CCAN Program Director
I recently had the privilege of speaking with Rachel and her mother Sherrie about their housing journey. Rachel has been living in the community with a housemate for almost a year now, and is an instructor in our Peer to Peer workshop series.
Our conversation highlighted some important themes. Both Rachel and Sherrie emphasized the importance of preparation--both in terms of skill building experience, and in building a community of support. They also shared that it is important to choose a living situation and location that is just-right for the person who will be living there, even if it is not what you had initially expected.
Here are some highlights from our conversation:
When discussing the steps that they took as a family to prepare for Rachel’s move to more independent living, both Rachel and Sherrie pointed out that it was not an overnight process.
Rachel shared that she had started her journey towards greater independence by going to different summer camps. Sherrie explained that “Rachel lived away from us, at camp, for a number of summers,” including a camp in Cape Cod as a younger teenager and a camp on a local college campus as she got older. The local camp was specifically focused on building independent living skills, and this is where she met a friend who would later become her housemate.
Rachel also participated in a program where she spent a week at a time living in the community at a house owned by a provider agency. Here, she learned what it was like to live on her own with supports in a new way. Rachel was not only practicing her skills for independent living, she was also actively building a community.
Along their journey, Sherrie and Rachel realized that living in their current town was not going to work for Rachel. All of her friends lived at a distance, and she didn’t have many opportunities to socialize while she was living with her parents. As Sherrie explained, “there were times that [Rachel] knew how frustrated [she was] just hanging out with us, and we felt the same way. . . . We knew [she] wanted to do something else and nobody lives around this neighborhood that [she] wanted to hang out with.”
All of the community- and skill-building that Rachel had done over the years paid off, and an opportunity popped up last year that was a great fit. Sherrie explained that “It was a couple of years, I think, after Rachel stopped going to the summer camp, but kept in touch with [her current housemate] through other activities, and learned that she was looking for a housemate.” The house was a bit further away from her parents’ house than the family had planned, but Rachel would be moving closer to the community she had been building over the last several years. In addition to her housemate, Rachel already knew several other friends who lived in the same town through her community activities. The town is also very walkable, which was an important factor for Rachel. She explained, “You can walk almost anywhere. I walk almost everywhere, except for the grocery store, because we can’t really walk there.”
Rachel shared that once they knew about her new potential living situation, she wanted to check it out to be sure that it would be a good fit. She explained “I didn’t just move in right away. . . . We looked at the house to see what it was like. . . . I did a lot of trial runs.” Sherrie also pointed to these “trial runs” as an important part of the process: “That was amazing, that they permitted us to do this, because [the town that the house is in] felt very far. And it’s not in terms of miles. It just takes a really long time to get there. And [Rachel] tried staying with [her current housemate] a couple of times, right, for 2 weeks and 4 weeks, and [she] did that a few times, and finally [the other family] said ‘What do you think? Let’s make it permanent.’” After this, Rachel shared, “We signed a month-to month lease” on the house, which has worked out well.
When I asked Sherrie if she had made any special preparations to support Rachel as she moved out on her own, she emphasized the fact that Rachel living independently was always the plan: “No, I mean, my other daughter had been living out of the house for a really long time. When she first went to college she moved out of state. . . . So it felt very natural.”
Sherrie also emphasized that building a community of support, both formal and informal, is a crucial part of Housing Readiness. She pointed out that the process was made easier by their long-standing relationship with Rachel’s Supports provider, who helped to facilitate the move: “I think our experience might be unique, because we were in a great set up. I mean I never thought about it that way, but we were, because we were working with [the provider agency], participating with their programs for a number of years. . . . We knew [the provider] for years, and we trusted her. She said “Here is an opportunity just to consider.” So I think we have to give credit where credit is due. . . . If we didn’t have all those pieces, I think [Rachel] would still be at home.”
When asked what advice they had for other families or individuals who are considering independent living, Sherrie said, “I think that it’s always worth it to give it a shot. Maybe you don’t have to jump in, but maybe you can just dip your toe in, and then maybe your whole foot. And as a parent, you might think “I don’t know if [my kid] can do that,” but most likely they can. And having experiences along the way is helpful. If Rachel had been 18, and had always lived at home and had never gone to camp or done anything on her own, I probably wouldn’t have thought it was a great idea. And now she is surrounded by a lot of people who know her well and are connected to her. So I think to build those connections and experience before you even think about moving out are really important.”
Rachel agreed, and added: “Just try, and see what it’s like to live on your own before you actually sign any paperwork.”
If you are interested in taking the next steps on your own journey to greater independence, check out our Empowering Independence workshop! The Summer 2023 session begins on June 29th. Please feel free to reach out to Abby with any questions.
