Community Spotlight: Mo
In this Community Spotlight post, we learn about Mo, one of our amazing Peer Instructors. I was lucky enough to get to interview Mo recently about her experiences living independently in the community. Here are some highlights from our conversation, lightly edited for clarity and length—Abby Martucci
Abby: What would you like people to know about you?
Mo: I feel like I’m on a talk show! I guess. . . I’m sarcastic. I have a good sense of humor. I live in Ardmore, I’ve lived here 5 years, I think. And I live with my friend Rachel. Before that, I lived with my parents in West Norriton. . . about 30-45 minutes away, depending on traffic-- Not super far away.
Abby: And why did you choose Ardmore?
Mo: I think it was because I was doing a lot of stuff at Haverford, and when we started to do things in Ardmore I thought “Oh! I can walk on the sidewalks!” because at my parents’ house, not many of the streets have sidewalks, so it was more comfortable walking around here, because I can just use the sidewalks--it’s just easier I guess.
Abby: What are some of the best things about living independently with supports?
Mo: Basically that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. Honestly, I guess because I have such a busy week, when I’m done, on Friday and on the weekend, I just chill, or I’ll do something with friends. I like that. And I basically talk to my parents or text with siblings every so often. I like the freedom of living on my own. I am shocked that I am able to get myself up every morning [laughing]. I have a routine that I will text my mom and say “I’m up.” and if I don’t do that, she’ll text me and say, “Are you alive?” [laughing] That happened about two weeks ago. I forgot to text her, because I was talking to [my housemate] Rachel. And I texted back “Yeah. I’m alive.”
Abby: So you’ve been living on your own for a while now. What was the adjustment like-- moving from living with your parents to living on your own?
Mo: Well, it was kind of weird, because during the pandemic, I went back to Mom and Dad’s. During the pandemic, services weren’t available. [My supports agency] was basically closed that whole time. And then I feel like transitioning back here was harder, because I was at home with my parents for such a long time. Transitioning back and forth is still hard sometimes.
Abby: What are some things you do to make it easier to transition back?
Mo: I hang out with friends-- that seems to help. Especially now that some of my close friends have moved nearby, it’s easier to hang out with people.
Abby: How did you find your current Housemate?
Mo: Through a summer camp--I want to say I met Rachel about ten years ago, but we only became housemates this year.
Abby: Has your friendship made being housemates easier?
Mo: We each do our own thing, which I think is good, because if we did absolutely everything together we would go stir-crazy. Some housemates might like doing everything together, and I’m like, “Okay. I need to go watch Chicago PD in my room.” That’s one show we don’t watch together.
We have a lot of common friends. We actually switch off with two other friends every Thursday. Like, tomorrow they're going to come here and we’re going to host dinner, and then next week we’ll go to their apartment and have dinner. We see a lot of the same people. The two girls that we switch off with on Thursdays for dinner, we hung out with them basically all last weekend.
Abby: You are one of our Peer Instructors in the Peer to Peer Workshop. Can you tell me a little bit about that experience?
Mo: It’s pretty cool-- I don’t mind doing it Zoom, but I do wish that we could do it in person. Getting to know other people, besides the people that I already know, is good. And I feel like I’ve lived on my own so much that I always get roped into these things [laughing].
Abby: You’ve now led five groups of participants in the Peer to Peer Workshop. As an expert now, what have you been able to share with them ?
Mo: How much I like living on my own. . . . I don’t really have a bedtime, but I still go to bed at like ten. It’s probably also because I was on my own here for like a year and then I had to get used to having another person in the house, especially in the morning, because I am NOT a morning person. And it’s funny, because I only started drinking coffee when I moved.
My mom always says I should have started drinking coffee at 16 because I was so cranky and I didn’t want to get up for school. I guess it’s because now I get up and I think “Okay, I have to walk to work. Oh wait, I need my coffee.” I have to drink it before I go, because if I drink it and walk at the same time I’ll be calling on-call and saying “I fell on my butt again” I’ll listen to my Alexa device. That seems to help in the morning. I listen to Pop music or country music to wake me up, and I set my device to wake me up, and it goes automatically, but it’s not an alarm clock, so I can just say “Stop” and it stops. And I set the alarm on my phone for when I have to leave for work, and then my watch goes off, too, because it’s mirrored to my watch, so two things go off at one time.
Abby : You’re so high tech!
Mo: I don’t think I’m that high-tech. I just figure stuff out. It was funny, we got the George Foreman Grill--my parents bought it a couple of months ago, and I was trying to figure out how to put the grill back together, and I had to look it up on Youtube. That was my problem-solving. I was like, “Okay.This is pretty simple. And nobody’s here.”
Abby: You just had such a great example of problem solving there. You didn’t know how to do something, there was nobody around to ask, so you looked it up on Youtube and you solved the problem.
Mo: That’s basically what I do anyway, when I have to solve problems like that. It wasn’t like an “I have to text somebody to help me figure it out” situation. It wasn’t an emergency, so I just figured it out on my own.
Abby: Has your experience of being a peer instructor changed over time, from the first time we ran the workshop to the fifth time? What’s different now?
Mo: I think I speak up more. I remember when we first did it, I was really quiet. People who know me well know that I’m not really quiet usually, and that if I am, they ask me if something is wrong. I think that since I’ve moved out on my own, I’ve really branched out.
Abby: What are some things that you did to prepare for living on your own? What did you do to get ready?
Mo: I think what really helped was going to camp at Haverford. I did that for 2 or three years, maybe more than that. And after I did it, I said to my parents, “ I want to move out.” and my mom was like “What? When did you decide that?” and I said, “You sent me to camp for six weeks.” That’s when I built friendships with basically everybody who lives in Ardmore now. And I moved here in 2019, and I think I was the first or second person [from the friend group] who was moving out at the time. I think it was mainly that that got me ready.
Abby: Have you faced any challenges living on your own?
Mo: The main challenge that I’ve had was the medical aspect. I’ve had epilepsy my whole entire life. Now, if I have a long seizure and I am here by myself, I do the same things I did at Mom and Dad’s, it’s just that now I have to call different people to let them know before I have to call my mom and dad. I’m used to it now, but it took time to get used to it. I have different contacts now. Like, I’ll call [my support staff] first, and then I’ll call my parents. While I’m in a seizure, it’s actually easier to text than call. And one of my siblings asked, “How do you do that? Texting while having a seizure?” And I said “It’s called Siri.” Or I’ll use the Alexas. Depending on the severity, it’s sometimes easier to use my phone.
It’s still interesting, because that was hard to get used to, for everything, not just medical, because I was so used to calling my parents, so that was a transition, but I feel like I’ve pretty much gotten used to it.
Abby: That’s such an important thing to share with people who may be thinking about living on their own. It’s helpful to know that just because you’re living independently doesn’t mean that there’s no one there to support you.
Mo: Yeah, Honestly, I am always going to need help, and I have back ups.
Abby: Is there any piece of advice that you would like to share with someone who might be reading this interview and blog post-- say, a person with disabilities who is thinking of moving into a more independent living situation?
Mo: Just keep working towards the goal. Work on life skills, all that stuff. I would say, at least for me, cooking skills were really important. That was something I really had to get used to. And before I got an electric cooktop, I would get nervous about the stove, because it’s gas-- the igniting it, and stuff like that.
Abby: Thank you so much, Mo, for taking the time to talk with me. And thank you for your awesome work as a peer mentor!
Mo: You’re welcome.
If you or your loved one are ready to explore the next steps towards living independently, we invite you to join us for the next session of our Peer to Peer workshop. In this five-week series, Mo and other peer instructors give participants a glimpse of what it looks like to live in the community with supports. Each week focuses on a different aspect of independent living, such as budgeting, meal planning, and getting along with housemates. To learn more, please click here.
